10 QUESTIONS - CORIN ASHLEY

corin

Who?

Hey, I said at the start of this that it wouldn’t all be boring famous people (Famous people reading this; I don’t mean you’re boring I mean the other famous people. You know who I mean, yeah, them). It’s about people I love or who have had some impact on my life. I first met Corin in 1997 in a club in Boston. His band, The Pills, were supporting The Boo Radleys and, from what I can recall of that long drunken journey into night, we became the best of friends, bonding over Beatles, booze and Baudelaire ( the last being fiction of course, included merely for alliterative kicks). We’ve seen each other a few times since then, Corin and his family have visited us in London and Cardiff and Mary and I have been over to Somerville, Mass to stay with them. A couple of years ago, just after I killed bravecaptain with a swift but meaningful blow to the back of his screwcurl head, Corin organised a few gigs up and down the East Coast. Some were acoustic sets in Coffee Houses and some were normal club gigs. Corin played bass, organised everything and I got drunk and played out of time, forgetting words, tunes, chords and my own name along the way. (I didn’t play again for a long time after that, didn’t do any music. I bought a camera and started sticking images together, waiting for the sounds to return). Otherwise, we make do with transatlantic mails, phonecalls and the occasional random telepathia. He also introduced me to Al fucking Kooper! Serious, we went to his house and everything (’Martin, are you sniffing my records’? Al said to me at one point. I was).

Corin was a member of Boston power pop band, The Pills. He released a solo album full melancholic self doubt and beauty . He also does an ace ukulele version of ‘Head Over Heels’ by Tears for Fears, a song we both love. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife, Darcey and their son, Harrison (The Bee).

I love him.

1. Where are you? Describe your immediate surroundings.

I’m in my stu- stu- studio-otherwise known as the spare bedroom upstairs. I’m surrounded by a Jawa’s phalanx of outdated gear: an RMI electro piano such as Linda McCartney played with Wings, A Hofner bass just like the one her less-known husband played in some band, an analog 8 track recorder, guitars everywhere, thousands of albums and books teetering on over- burdened shelves, a morass of wires and a Fender vibro champ. I’ve got a poster on the wall from when the Pills played in Barcelona and a painting that you gave me.

2. Which Beatle wife would you be?

Oooh, that’s a rough one. I’ll discount wives who were not wives during the Beatle years, so no Olivia or Barbara. I mean, Patti was so cute, but did you read her book? Oofa. Linda had the best marriage, but the worst British accent. Cynthia, I think, is the one to be- even with the shitty end to her marriage. She was there for the all the best parts. Could I be Astrud instead?

3. “Why count the days..” writes Dostoevsky in ‘The Brothers Karamazov’,

“..when even one day is enough for a man to know all happiness.”

What would be your perfect day?

I’ve had a number of perfect days with you and Mary, so I totally dig on old Fyoder’s sentiment (and his travel guides are ace). Actually, lately I’ve been getting really fruity for trees. Me and the wee man have been doing these Sunday hikes in the woods near our house. There’s this big reservoir in a grove of pines and we take our trusty bulldog Pretzel for protection against wild beasties. It’s just beautiful back there: there’s a certain quietness that is unique to a pine grove and the way the sun shimmers through the tops of the trees is very magical. Harrison loves to walk along the edge of the reservoir and he has so many questions, but we usually end up talking about trees. He can identify pine, white birch, dogwood and “the mighty oak”. When we come out of the woods, there’s a huge open space called the sheep fold where people bring their dogs to run. Sometimes, there are a hundred dogs there and one expects to see Steve Winwood in a tweed overcoat with a bunch of Irish wolfhounds. Anyway, if we can find a poo- free spot, Harrison and I lay down and describe the clouds to each other and let Pretzel romp himself into a froth. After a couple of hours, we go home and tell Darcey about our adventures and that’s a pretty perfect day. Sometimes there are snacks.

4. You have been given a box containing infinite song components.
Which of these components would you use to construct the perfect song?

Oh man, I wish. I’d take two parts “wild mercury sound”, a splash of “teenage symphony to God”, the sound of Christianity vanishing and shrinking, a spoonful of truth and then hopefully, somehow add one part originality. That last ingredient is where I always fall short.

5. What was the best job, outside of music, that you ever had?

For 5 years, when I was in my early 20’s, I drove tourists around in big orange trolleys and gave tours of Boston and Cambridge- a fine balance of historical ephemera and ludicrous humor (Ted Kennedy jokes= tips). I was in a continuous loop for 5 years and had this amazing relationship with the city where I got to know every nook and cranny, every meter maid on the route. All the restaurants would give us free food to mention them, it was great. I gave thousands of tours and I think I still hold the record for making the most tips in one day ($304). We had our hats overturned for tips and a little sign above asking for them (which I would do the drum fills from “Won’t Get Fooled Again” on to make sure nobody missed). At one point, I realized that I had become the greatest trolley tour guide in the world. I could get away with unbelievable things on the trolley. Tourists would just do whatever I asked; I convinced a group of guests to follow me off the trolley to go swimming fully clothed in the reflecting pool at the Christian Science Center. I got a whole group of people to yell out “We’re not wearing any pants” during a live newscast the Governor was giving on the steps of the state house. I would stop the trolley and take the whole group for ice cream. One time, when the trolley was full, a blustery red-faced woman yelled at me and said “I demand a ride” and I told her there was a broom in the back. Her husband died laughing.

I was also playing in a band that did a lot of shows in New York at the time and I would get home, take a shower and go directly to work, so I would occasionally have to pull over to “adjust my mirrors” and go vomit in an alleyway before continuing the tour. The entire trolley company was crazy drunkards and many of the ticket sellers were Irish girls with very flexible morals. One time I was giving the tour, looking at the guests in the mirror above me, when in the back row I spotted a familiar face. I kept looking back and discovered Robin Williams sitting in the very last seat with a hoodie on. I made the secret Mork from Ork handshake sign at him and he put his fingers against his lips. I continued with my regular routine and at the end, as he exited, he whispered “You’re a funny motherfucker” in my ear and put $50 in my hat.

6. You live near Boston which, as we are all aware, was named after the ages ago rock band. Have you ever bumped into a Boston?

I do not like the rock band Boston, I do not think they are wicked pissa, no suh. However, when I first moved here, at the tender age of 18, my Mom and I went to the Hard Rock Cafe- we are simple country folk so looking at Prince’s purple cape & boots is quite exotic for us- and I recognized Tom Scholz sitting at a nearby table. Up to that point, the only famous musician I had ever spoken to was hometown hero Daryll Hall and it went well, so I figured I had a knack for it and went over to say hello. I nervously approached and introduced myself, said that I had just moved to Boston to go to music college and he was relatively gracious and wished me luck. We talked briefly about how he made the first Boston album in his apartment with cables running out to a mobile truck to transfer the tapes. It was a perfectly valid interaction, but I didn’t know what else to say. There was an uncomfortable eternity where I tried to “hang” and, grasping for straws, I said to the man who took 8 years between albums “So, what are you working on now?” and he looked right at me and said “Right now I’m just working on trying to eat my lunch” and I slithered away humiliated.

7. I’ve had this headache for weeks now, I’ve taken pills, given up my piano lessons and tried not to stress too much about money and stuff.
What would your advice be?

Despite your magnificent 3-D coiffure, I have long feared that your head will be your un-doing. So much good comes out of it that I can’t recommend a replacement unit, you may just have to soldier on with the one you’ve got. Have you seen a cranium doctor? Regarding worry, there is a case to be made for that being quite reasonable.

8. I know you’ve visited the UK a couple of times. If you had to describe this country and it’s people to an interplanetary researcher what would you say?

That’s a pretty big question. I mean, you know I love you little spotty buggers, but how to put it in words? You know, when I saw that travel show about the guys fishing in Cornwall with their little day boats, I wanted to live there. And when we played in Aberdeen and I spent the night in a hammock surrounded by rabbits, I wanted to move to Aberdeen. And when I saw Leslie Ash in the garden shed in Quadrophenia, I wanted to move to Brighton. And the first time I was ever in Liverpool, it felt like coming home. And certainly there is no more exciting city than London. I guess the question is really more about the people and I suppose you must have as many douchebags as we do, but I’ve never met them. There’s a certain something to English people that can only comes from there having always been an England. You have better table manners than us, for one thing, and the sense of sarcasm without malice is most endearing. Ultimately, you have to respect a culture that reserves a warm spot in their collective hearts for complete loons.

9. What is your favourite time of day?

Whenever I see an e-mail from you in my inbox! Let’s see, I have gotten up to pee at 4:11 AM every night for the last 25 days, so that must be my favorite time of day. I really like that little zone right before I fall asleep when everything gets all cosmic and half- dreamy.

10. The football season is drawing to a close. Tragically, Manchester Utd have won the Premiership. What do
you think of Liverpool’s chances next season?

I feel like Kevin Garnett and Leon Poe’s knee injuries prevented the Celtics from being serious contenders against the Magic in the semi- finals (although it’s arguable whether they would have had any chance at all against Cleveland if they had won the series). Coach Rivers’ reliance on his starters and reluctance to use the bench led to Paul Pierce being ineffectual in game 7 and, coupled with Ray Allen’s inconsistent performance throughout, really blew their chances and fans have a right to question those decisions. I mean, we have a strong bench and two starters with injuries. Why wear them out?

And I still want a Liverpool scarf!

May 25, 2009Post a Comment

10 QUESTIONS - Alan McGee

This weeks Ten Questions were thrown at Alan McGee. I first met Alan in 1991 in a pub in Hackney. He was seated at a table chatting with Lydia Lunch. I have no idea what we talked about but he put me up in a hotel that night as I had missed my train back up North. Over the years since we’ve had a up and down relationship but he remains, as the founder of my favourite Record Label, Creation Records, a big influence on my teenage years. Now retired, he looks after his daughter and, if his Tweets are to be believed, spends the rest of the time drinking coffee and giving the Finnish staff and assorted WAGs who frequent his pool inspirational talks on the benefits of Sushi.

1. Where are you? Describe your immediate surroundings.

on couch in london till i move to wales in july

2. Anybody following you on Twitter would think that you are a crass, rude, arrogant, money obsessed, caffeine fueled,
sushi gobbling bully, but in person you are a sensitive, generous and articulate man. Do you consciously adopt a public
persona or does it happen naturally after so many years of fighting your corner?

i agree on all points the thing is i truly don’t give a fuck

3. Which year at Creation Records do you feel was your best in terms of artistic/business satisfaction?

1991 1992 for the music we never got rich till 97 i liked the end bit best video ever is kevin rowland video we rocked

4. You once described ‘Wake Up Boo’ as an ‘Atrocity Exhibition’ which, as I’m sure readers will know, was the title of a J.G Ballard novel.
He’s dead now and, let’s be honest, you have to shoulder some of the blame for that. What other records (records, not bands) that came out on Creation would
you rather have come out on another label, if at all?

Loveless isn’t anything and soon I hate mbv I wish I had never signed them tuneless garbage

5. You’ve retired. Is that for good? C’mon you can’t sit around drinking coffee forever. What’s next?

the school run and the great thing is i don’t have to go in

6. If Creation had folded after a couple of singles what do you think you would be doing now?

on a park bench

7. The thing I most like about you is the fact that your interpretation of Rock’n'Roll is whatever you happen to be doing at any given time. Is the idea of
four-pale-young-things-with-guitars-as-rebellious-act redundant now?

no because glasvegas and the grants still make me believe it’s possible

8. I’ve noticed on your tweets that you regularly lambast LA and Shoreditch as being ’shitholes’ yet you live in St John’s Wood which is really just a Beatle-
themed graveyard. Where in the world do you feel most at home?

i actually live in primrose hill all the celebs moved into my road so i moved into another of my properies

9. How many readers of your guardian blog could you fight in one go?

i’m 48 martin then again probably so are they

10. “Fate is kind to me” exclaims Grigory Petrovitch Liharev in Chekov’s ‘On the Road’ ; “I am always meeting splendid people”

Which person were you most glad to meet?

dan treacy of tv personalities he is still a punk rocker and showed me even a twat like me could run a record company

May 11, 20096 Comments

10 QUESTIONS - Caitlin Moran

This week I telekinetically winged ten questions over to the force of mouthture that is Caitlin Moran. Caitlin used to write for Melody Maker and now writes for The Times and appears on TV spouting rubbish about crap. I first met her in Dublin at the beginning of 1994; I was trying to eat my dinner without interrupting an almost perpetual influx of beer and cigarettes and she was standing on the table, on the table mind, shouting her damn fool head off. I thought she was a nob, Queen Nob, but within hours of that we were best friends and I love her to bits. She has done much for me and my family but despite earning over a million pounds a year and living in a castle she still can’t beat me in a Beatles quiz, not even the ones where she writes the questions (her favourite kind of quiz). She can talk on any subject for at least ten minutes, makes a mean Victoria Sponge and has trained her youngest child to torment me, possibly into an early grave. Beautiful, funny and clever, it’s the only thing we both agree on.

1. Where are you? Describe your surroundings.

I am in my kitchen, which is based around the themes of RED, CAFFIENE and ORANGES SLOWLY ROTTING IN THE FRUIT BOWL MAKING A BAD SMELL. On the fridge there’s a torn-out picture of Michael Sheen looking sexy as Brian Clough. All the women of the house are enjoying how confusing this is.

2. Which childhood experience has had the biggest effect on your writing?

At the age of thirteen, through long and tortuous events too tedious to go into, I believed that I had brought about the downfall of my family, who were very poor, and in a precarious situation. For the first month after my indiscretion, I would run an answer the doorbell whenever it rang, believing that if it were the bailiffs, I might be able to simply talk them out of it, using my considerable charm, before my parents found out. When I realised that I might occasionally have to leave the house – thus leaving the entire family in peril – I decided I would simply have to earn enough money to save us all, so I started writing a minimum of 2000 words every day, until I’d finished a book. I couldn’t believe I’d finished a book at the age of fourteen! And then, when it was accepted for publication, I couldn’t believe that my desperate desire to save my family with a humourous childrens’ novel had succeeded! Then they told me I’d only get £1600 for it, and I realised I might need to switch to Plan B. Ponzi schemes.

3. Yesterday, Sonny and I explored a few back alleys in Grangetown with my camera, looking for peeling paint and arcane graffiti.
On one wall somebody had sprayed, in blue paint, ‘1996 The Year of Progressive House’. Is that how you remember that year?

I spent all of 1996 extremely stoned, in the first year of the relationship with the man who is now my husband. We became so indolent with marijuana that we used to lower a basket out of the window when the pizza-man came, so we didn’t have to go down two flights of stairs. He would put the pizzas and the change from £20 in the basket, and we would haul it back up again. As a consequence, 1996 was the year I became so fat I spent all summer wearing a nightie and a pair of Nike hi-tops, because I thought a chunky shoe would make my legs look thinner, by contrast.

4. In the style of Twitter (104 words max). What are you most afraid of?

The kind of insanity where you become very fat and shit yrself every time you make a joke.

5. Cheese or Chocolate?

CHEESE. This week - Comte. Waxy yet slightly crunchy, with salt crystals. And a celery-salt biscuit on the side. The Moran family is famous for having invented the dish “Cheese on Cheese.” It even has a theme-song (singing the words “cheese on cheese” to the tune of “Girls On Film” by Duran Duran.)

6. “Man, these things are instant imagination” Says Winston in Paul Beatty’s ‘Tuff’ as he polishes his gun on the stoop

“It’s like having a good idea, but you don’t know exactly what it is yet”

Do you have a single muse or totem, an object/idea/memory/person that inspires all your work?

Yes. Russell Crowe in Master and Commander, shouting “Never mind the manouvres – just go straight at them!” Alan Coren’s advice: “The first idea that occurs to you, will have occurred to everyone. The second idea that occurs to you, will have already also occurred to the clever people. But your third idea – only you will have had that one.”

7. Your first book was published when you were only fifteen. You’re thirty four now , how is the second one coming on?

*pious face* I’ve written three of the most important stories of my life: my marriage, and the early years of my two children, Dora and Eavie. You cheeky fuck. Anyway I’m turning out pissing 5000 words a week for Rupert Murdoch – I haven’t got time to menstruate, let alone write a book. Get off my fucking back. Holy mother of God.

8. Ok, here’s your big shitty stick. Who you going to beat with it?

All the people Ben Goldacre is annoyed with in Bad Science. He seems to have researched their shitness very thoroughly.

9. What happens after we die?

When I was seven, I used to think you might get your own planet, and be God of it. Now I suspect you just rot in the ground like an old dog, but I haven’t told the kids yet. They think they’re off to Disneyland.

10. I think everybody is aware that it was totally your fault Kurt Cobain killed himself. What other pivotal roles have you played in era defining moments of popular culture?

I broke Brett Anderson’s toilet cistern.

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May 4, 20097 Comments